Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag