I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.