The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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