Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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