So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
