This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
