it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
