Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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