He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
