Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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