i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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