Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
