A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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