I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?