The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.