Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.