Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.

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  (636): It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy. http://tfl.nu/okgv
  Replies (33) Good night (4954) Bad night (553)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I think I sharted a yagerbomb.

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  (502): I think I sharted a yagerbomb. http://tfl.nu/xi3d
  Replies (15) Good night (669) Bad night (3573)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

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  (716): He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER. http://tfl.nu/jf69
  Replies (22) Good night (1003) Bad night (6920)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.

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  (270): Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience. http://tfl.nu/d64j
  Replies (3) Good night (4026) Bad night (764)
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  (+39): View more from

  my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.

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  (+39): my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever. http://tfl.nu/kcqx
  Replies (8) Good night (2807) Bad night (1127)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1597) Bad night (486)
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  (805): View more from California

  Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?

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  (805): Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin? http://tfl.nu/mg03
  Replies (7) Good night (561) Bad night (1144)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.

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  (519): He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride. http://tfl.nu/vs7z
  Replies (8) Good night (1652) Bad night (1112)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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  (803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b
  Replies (3) Good night (1075) Bad night (470)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.

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  (989): Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady. http://tfl.nu/qu2m
  Replies (48) Good night (1339) Bad night (2919)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (372)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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  (330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1
  Replies (6) Good night (1319) Bad night (435)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.

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  (512): My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes. http://tfl.nu/b90a
  Replies (1) Good night (1064) Bad night (328)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

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  (585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8
  Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (1345)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'd cum for enchiladas.

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  (850): I'd cum for enchiladas. http://tfl.nu/lnb5
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (252)

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