Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?

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  (616): dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us? http://tfl.nu/bgpp
  Replies (8) Good night (1533) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.

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  (617): There's a vagina buried somewhere in there. http://tfl.nu/t83u
  Replies (7) Good night (667) Bad night (4442)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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  (609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings (856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days http://tfl.nu/m946
  Replies (25) Good night (4346) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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  (901): Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front. (662): I think college has really matured you. http://tfl.nu/th4l
  Replies (19) Good night (4601) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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  (307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn
  Replies (11) Good night (6450) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."

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  (443): You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault." http://tfl.nu/r5ek
  Replies (13) Good night (6533) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...

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  (530): If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good... http://tfl.nu/ucmp
  Replies (14) Good night (2232) Bad night (3114)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?

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  (352): Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend? http://tfl.nu/xbp0
  Replies (6) Good night (2115) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.

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  (519): I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning. http://tfl.nu/ffy0
  Replies (4) Good night (3751) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass

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  (519): woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass http://tfl.nu/kbek
  Replies (9) Good night (1174) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

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  (252): Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips. http://tfl.nu/vfz4
  Replies (6) Good night (1488) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.

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  (516): About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me. http://tfl.nu/5yy8
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?

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  (517): Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's? http://tfl.nu/t57e
  Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.

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  (727): Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend. http://tfl.nu/jlre
  Replies (9) Good night (1174) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed

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  (207): I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed http://tfl.nu/uyyl
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (137)

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