ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
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I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
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Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.