i just had sex bonerless
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.