Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
