she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
