he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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