Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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