so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize