i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
