I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
