yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
