Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
