This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?