Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
