The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
