If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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