if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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