It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
