I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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