If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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