I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
