I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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