I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
