is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
