Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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