Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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