Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize