saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
