Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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