I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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