I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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