Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
