that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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