Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
