i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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