I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think your dad took our porno
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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