I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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