Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
