My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
