Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
