I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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