So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
