Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
