hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
