just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize