If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
