No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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