I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say