Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/7vfy
  Replies (10) Good night (9702) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones. http://tfl.nu/swc2
  Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (2793)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy http://tfl.nu/o3ew
  Replies (8) Good night (1031) Bad night (2870)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails. http://tfl.nu/6r5a
  Replies (8) Good night (960) Bad night (2619)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose. http://tfl.nu/x4y6
  Replies (7) Good night (1050) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht
  Replies (4) Good night (1875) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room. http://tfl.nu/r3lr
  Replies (11) Good night (458) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!! http://tfl.nu/hi1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1792) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting? http://tfl.nu/x0ek
  Replies (8) Good night (1224) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay? http://tfl.nu/s9ck
  Replies (8) Good night (506) Bad night (1486)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless http://tfl.nu/u2yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1224) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet http://tfl.nu/6676
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6
  Replies (8) Good night (1293) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise. http://tfl.nu/k2tj
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men. http://tfl.nu/015e
  Replies (4) Good night (941) Bad night (227)

Randomize