I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.