Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"

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  (414): She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this" http://tfl.nu/yuhf
  Replies (30) Good night (679) Bad night (7841)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

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  (972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry" http://tfl.nu/fk1l
  Replies (21) Good night (11734) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime

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  (918): We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime http://tfl.nu/yqbs
  Replies (24) Good night (4304) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.

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  (404): just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor. http://tfl.nu/8ie3
  Replies (10) Good night (1914) Bad night (3729)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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  (989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l
  Replies (12) Good night (1271) Bad night (2958)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off

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  (402): he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off http://tfl.nu/4yxi
  Replies (5) Good night (2937) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.

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  (714): Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner. http://tfl.nu/auiz
  Replies (5) Good night (4995) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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  (440): Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis. http://tfl.nu/jmye
  Replies (7) Good night (1879) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

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  (802): shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots. http://tfl.nu/6u08
  Replies (12) Good night (2265) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened

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  (716): crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened http://tfl.nu/3r2k
  Replies (2) Good night (1075) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (595): View more from

  In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.

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  (595): In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today. http://tfl.nu/kbdd
  Replies (8) Good night (1106) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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  (202): just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over http://tfl.nu/f4tt
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.

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  (610): I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/5fnr
  Replies (1) Good night (992) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.

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  (615): I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight. http://tfl.nu/a4mq
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.

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  (210): The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition. http://tfl.nu/823g
  Replies (1) Good night (229) Bad night (275)

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