So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
organizing the empties. That sober.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?