She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
