I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize