Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
