just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
