I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize