Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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